Daily Fucking Thought

The Unwritten Rules

Life has a lot of unwritten rules, like don't eat tuna salad in the elevator and it's not okay to compare birth marks in the locker room.  Unlike your parents' copy of The Joy of Sex, you can't sit down and memorize all the unwritten rules, so you have to to pick up on the scorn of strangers.

With a little trial and error, you'll learn that too much eye contact results in restraining orders and not everyone likes to admit they wear artificial hair.

Disorders

It's important to feign a disorder when it's at the height of popularity, like right now it's okay to be a hoarder or a cutter, but being ADHD or having postpartum depression is almost embarrassing.  Better yet, come up with your own disorder - think about developing a deep shame of eating in public or becoming addicted to wigs.

Whatever sets you apart in a unique and pitiful way might land you a reality show special on Discovery Health, which means you'd be famous.