Daily Fucking Thought

Hating Yourself

Hating yourself is a full-time job, so it's okay to quit Best Buy and go on the dole.  Instead of hustling camcorders and small appliances, spend your day harping on every stupid thing you've ever said and done, eating non-stop carbohydrates and losing respect for everyone who isn't repulsed by you.

Hating yourself too much is better than loving yourself too much, because that can lead to hand cramps.

The Less You Have

The more you have the more you want, but the less you have, the more you regret being too drunk to finish your GED and the more you fight with your wife about the water bill because unless she's part penguin or running a water park, it's a little high. Money comes with its own problems, but worrying about your portfolio is always better than worrying about where your next pierogi is coming from.

Just remember that net worth directly correlates with self-worth.

Chasing Dreams

If you sit back and wait for life to come to you, you'll be rested and refreshed by the time it arrives.  If you're always out chasing your dreams, you'll be dehydrated or cramped by the time you catch them.

Those who encourage you to be proactive are simply jealous of your sleeping in or angry that they didn't qualify for welfare, too. 

Challenges

Would you rather live a life without any challenges or have to work hard for every small victory you win?  Would you prefer to have everything handed to you or have to forage the world for everything you own?

When you sweat every single day for months to lose 5 lbs, isn't that hard work more of a reward than just being born with a normal metabolism?  Isn't working for 35 years to pay off your mortgage better than collecting a trust fund?

Pretending that hard work makes the rewards sweeter is the only way you're going to continue the effort instead of just letting yourself get fat or go on welfare.