Daily Fucking Thought

Natural Childbirth

Having your baby without anesthesia means you have more mental strength and a bigger vagina than most of your friends.  Only the tough and girthy can birth a baby without being frozen from the belly button down, especially if there's no leather strap to bite down on.

The beauty of natural childbirth is that you can do it anywhere - in a tub at home or even in the KFC bathroom.
 

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is the day in Spring you pay extortionist prices to send your mom tulips to make up for giving her a vaganus.  If you still live in the bonus room above the carport, it's the day you bring mom toaster strudel in bed in exchange for eight years of free rent and skin flicks charged to her cable bill.

It's important to celebrate your mother because she's always going to love you and she actually let your dad copulate her.