Daily Fucking Thought

Sunday Mornings

Sunday mornings are about a warm cup of coffee, Parade magazine and trying to figure out why your car is parked on the neighbor's lawn with your undies hanging from the rear-view.  A nice combination of relaxation and forensic science is usually in order, especially after a night of Captain Morgan and karaoke. 

Just try to put all the puzzle pieces together by Sunday evening, so you can enjoy a simple pot roast and Family Feud without being worried the cops are closing in on you.

Healthy Fear

Fear is healthy, even though it's probably the cause of your leaky bowels and thinning hair.  It's healthy to be afraid of meeting new people, because one of them might shank you and being afraid to leave your house is good, because outside is where AIDS lives. 

It's especially important to focus your fear on the things you can't control because they're the scariest. 

Going soft

Toddlers, puppies and mid-Westerners approach life with a wide-eyed zeal, excited to meet new people, go new places and enter contests.  Before they experience a broken heart, fall off a truck or use their allowance for drugs, life seems like a fairy tale. 

If you want to go soft, spend time around them and you'll start to think the world is decent and no one you know watches fetish porn.