Daily Fucking Thought

Your Annual

Getting a pap smear means trying to make small talk with your gynecologist with your vagina in the way.  It's a lot of pretending that nothing humiliating is happening while discussing this economy, which is why WASPs are better at it. 

The good news is you only have to go once a year, unless you're dirty downstairs.

The New Happiness

You're never really going to be happy because happiness is a lie that medicated people tell.  Instead, settle for being able to get out of bed in the morning and not screaming at your toddler when she gets the stomach flu.  Not being unhappy is the new happy, especially in this economy.

Of course, in public, keep your smile big and constant or else you won't get a raise or an invite to the club.