Daily Fucking Thought

Blogging

A blog is a good way to let former high school classmates know you're more than just the girl from math with the ill-fitting bras - you're a mom and a baker.  It doesn't matter that most people who read your entries are strangers who google 'how to have sex with pudding' and 'bundt cake porn illinois,' being online makes you worthy of love, respect and salvation.

Blogging is also a good way to pass the time while your husband's tugging it in the shower. 

Show How Much You Care

Showing how much you care is easy, even if you don't have money for cubic zirconias or a non-weekend cell phone call.  Just forward the women you love an email about sisterhood and/or how not to get kidnapped at the mall or post a Facebook status about how much you love your boyfriend and ask others to copy and paste it if they love their boyfriends, too.

Nothing says "I love you," like a couple of clicks of a mouse, not even real life hugs.

Happy Friends

Spending time with a happy person will only make you hate yourself more because you'll realize it actually can be done.  Hanging out with someone who doesn't have nightmares about waking up in the morning and who looks forward to cocktail parties only serves as a reminder that you're never going to meet someone who understands you. 

You really don't need any friends, especially in the age of grocery delivery and companion animals.

Technology

Technology has made the world a smaller, more accessible place, which is all well and good.  But more importantly, technology allows us to isolate ourselves completely from the rest of society.

Voicemail and caller id ensure you never have to speak to anyone you don't want to, like creditors or the clinic.  Email means you never have to pick up the phone at all and the internet is more entertaining, more knowledgeable and kinder than any friend or loved one.