Being pretentious is tiring. Raising your hand in math class and memorizing British royal lineage wastes a lot of energy when God meant you to be trailer trash. Even if you're successful, you still have bruised knees and a mom who dreams of your being a nail tech. Your affected accent and refined table manners don't come in handy when everyone is drunk by noon and you can't even afford birth control.
Drop the pretenses and settle in for a long life. Consider taking up smoking.
