A blog is a good way to let former high school classmates know you're more
than just the girl from math with the ill-fitting bras - you're a mom and
a baker. It doesn't matter that most people who read your entries
are strangers who google 'how to have sex with pudding' and 'bundt cake
porn illinois,' being online makes you worthy of love, respect and salvation.
Blogging is also a good way to pass the time while your husband's tugging it in the shower.
Bad fences make bad neighbors, especially when your neighbors choose
chain link and razor wire over wrought-iron with fleur-de-lis accents,
even though you offered to go halfsies. Regardless of aesthetic, fences
can't block out the loud drug parties or the manic screaming,
especially when the Pats are playing or when Phil comes home reeking of
whore.
Good fences make good neighbors, but sky-high privacy hedges and
three-acre lots make great neighbors.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting a different result, which means it has nothing to do with
hearing voices that call you Sister Joan or being convinced that your mailbox
is spying on you. Therefore insanity is mainly a malady of
dissatisfied cubicle workers and tollbooth operators who yearn for more.
This means dumb people and Alzheimer's patients are the most sane.
