Fighting is better done while inebriated, when all your unadulterated
emotions can come out without any interference from rational thought. Drunken fights are easy to let go, usually because
you can't remember what they're about and you completely forget that
Linda called you a moo and told the whole bar about your abortion.
Drunken physical fights are also usually better because you can't feel
your teeth leave your gums and you don't tense up before you smack the
pavement.
Playing the victim can be fun, especially if your husband doesn't
watch a lot of UFC or is elderly. Victims usually get more Hallmark
cards and pity parties and aren't expected to be happy, which means you
can stop the Zoloft.
Playing the victim is always important after fender-benders and frat parties.