Daily Fucking Thought

Every Decade

Each decade of life brings new joys.  Your 20's are all about assistant jobs and constant STD swipes, the 30's are about the two-day hangover and hitting snooze on your biological clock and the 40's are the decade of divorce and trying to get skinnier than your daughter.

According to Oprah, life gets better at 50, but she only says that because she's rich and black don't crack.

The Best Things in Life

The best things in life really are free, like the Jimmy Choos you took from your sister's closet or the prophylactics you got from the school nurse, saving your allowance for cigarettes.  Movies that you sneak into are always better than ones you pay for, even if the main star is a dog, and a free lunch is tastier, even if you have to watch Uncle Mort who only chews with his front teeth. 

Your hard-earned money is exactly that, hard-earned, which means you should be constantly frugal.