Daily Fucking Thought

Divorces

A break-up and a divorce are the same thing, but a divorce is worse because there's more paperwork and now God hates you. Divorces will garner you more sympathy and are a good excuse for a whore year or two, but the trade-off is expensive new monogrammed flatware and purgatory.

Divorces also lead you to be called a divorcee which is annoying because of the stigma and accent mark.

Immaturity

Futons, tapestries and optimism are all signs of immaturity.  As you grow older, it's important to shop at Pottery Barn and to let go of the idea that the world is a fair place filled with reasonable people and the notion that if you work hard enough, you can have whatever you want. 

Signs of maturity include a fixed-rate mortgage, overstuffed loveseats, and dead eyes. 

Advertising Makes the World Go 'Round

Love might make the world go 'round, but advertising pays for it.  Without advertising, there would be no sports, no sitcoms, no buses, no magazines, no brand name clothing, no spam and no kindergarten.

Though a world without advertising would be seemingly calm, uncluttered, and unusually productive, you probably wouldn't get any more Pottery Barn emails which would ultimately make you feel lonely.  You also wouldn't get to stare at "Pink" or "Supa Hot" written across ladies' sweatpant bottoms anymore, making your staring inappropriate.