Certain things, like emotions and liberal sympathies,
are better left unsaid because ultimately they make things more
uncomfortable. Admitting your anxiety or telling your father you love
him are things you should probably keep to yourself, especially during
the first course or you're setting yourself up for a silent dinner.
If you must open up, do it drunk and then make fun of yourself the next morning before anyone can beat you to the punch.
Going into work is like going to a cocktail party in the morning,
except without the cocktails and cheese cubes and with more business
casual than funky fresh. Especially on Mondays, after a weekend of
'big plans,' you'll do more catching up before elevenses than in a
month of happy hours.
Your only hope is to close the office door, but if you're in a cube, no half walls will save you.
If you can't say anything nice, say mean things in a nice way. For
example, a dinner that looks like a hot mess is 'rustic', a friend's
horrific taste is 'eclectic', and your thick daughter looks 'healthy.'
Smart people will pick up on the insult, but you might have to really spell things out for the dummies.
What's going on is a minefield question faced by most of us on a daily
basis. Answer 'nothing' too many times and your friends figure out
you're boring. Answer with joy and plenty of information about your
nephews who, though adorable,
don't have much to do with you directly since they live in Wichita and
are too poor to fly, and they know you're boring.
Practice a quippy answer and quickly turning the question back on
the asker. The truth is, most people don't really care about you in
the first place.
