Daily Fucking Thought

Experts

Why wait to be shot in the skull with a nail gun or caught in the midst of a dog custody battle to make it on the Today show?  Instead, you can become an 'expert' at almost anything, from parenting and hand pistols to Keno strategy and arson.

After all, expert is a relative term - like beautiful or heterosexual.

Go To Bed Angry

It's okay to go to bed angry because it can lead to some calorie torching hate sex and is better than trying to have a rational conversation when you're three gins deep.  Most of the time it's actually better to go to bed mad because if you're still pissed when you wake up, it's probably time for a divorce. 

Not going to bed angry is only a good idea if you keep a pistol in the night stand and have poor impulse control.