Daily Fucking Thought

April Fool's Day

April Fool's Day isn't all about prank calls and plastic poo; it's the day you get to do mean-spirited things under the guise of good fun.  Give your mother a cardiac incident by announcing a bi-racial pregnancy, see how hard your son cries when you stage a pet death or watch your husband crestfall when you tell him his man cave tested positive for radon.

Avoid announcing an engagement or showing off a new tattoo on April 1st, unless you want to know what people really think.

Family

Your family is going to love you forever, or at least until you decide not to go into the family business or you lose yourself in barbiturates.  Family is there to see you through your highs and lows, even if they're watching from the veranda with highballs while you're drowning in the pool called life.

You can't choose your family, but you can choose to change your last name and to shave off your fingerprints to avoid child support payments. 

In an Instant

For better or worse, life can change in an instant like when the DNA results disprove your paternity or when you open the refrigerator to find you're out of Diet Coke. 

In an instant, you can go from despondent to adventurous, from joyous to depressed, especially if you're generally unstable or your doctor has been meddling with your dosage.