Daily Fucking Thought

Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is essentially carte blanche for everything from not making the Math-o-holics to being nicknamed the "Earl of Blow Jobs" to living a life of crime.  Low self-esteem is an ideal excuse, especially if you have a large schnoz or thick thighs, because then it's more believable.

If you're good-looking, you're out of luck unless your parents got divorced or your brother got leukemia. 

Giving and Receiving

Giving is what you do in order to receive.  You give false flattery to receive compliments in return, you give money to charities to receive tax write-offs, and you give blowies to receive jewelry and/or a raise.

Occasionally you receive before you give, but that usually only applies to cheap wine you re-gift or to chlamydia. 

Faith vs. Trust

Build your relationship on faith rather than trust.  Trust has to be earned, built and proven, while faith is something people take blind leaps toward.  Trust can be broken with one lapse in judgment, while faith ignores all evidence, even surveillance videos.  Relationships built on faith rather than trust tend to have less arguing, mainly because when you get burned you have no one to blame but yourself.

So when you accidentally shrink your husband's favorite shirt or have mouth sex with his best friend, ask him to have faith in you instead of to trust you.  That should fix things up no problem.