Daily Fucking Thought

"Me" Time

"Me" time is something that selfish people need, even though Jordan wants to go to kinder music and the pot roast doesn't cook itself.  Somehow spending time away from your family makes you a better mom and wife, even though pilots don't get better at flying by knitting and sprinters don't get faster by making prank calls. 

"Me" time often involves long baths, a mani/pedi, and the occasional afternoon ensconced in the arms of a lesbian neighbor. 

Money and Evil

Money isn't the root of all evil, not having money is the root of all evil.  Participating in regattas and flying first-class never hurt anyone, but having to dumpster dive for bus fare and trade your inhaler for lotto tickets hurts everyone involved.

Try to be rich if you can because globe-trotting and eating goose liver is fun. 

Your True Colors

Your true colors are things you try to hide from other people, lest they don't want to carpool with you or marry you.  No one needs to know you're a rage-a-holic or cruel to animals, especially if you remember to take your pills on an empty stomach.

In order to not show your true colors, only assemble Ikea furniture and/or guzzle savignon blanc in the privacy of your own home. 

The Rich and Leisure

When you're rich, you have a lot of free time because you don't have to worry about finding the cheapest gas station in town or selling your LP collection to pay for your daughter's smallpox booster.  Abundant free time is why the rich are so good at leisure - why they know so much about wine, small plane aviation and Pebble Beach. 

Poor people who have a lot of free time are more into crafting and NASCAR.

The Less You Have

The more you have the more you want, but the less you have, the more you regret being too drunk to finish your GED and the more you fight with your wife about the water bill because unless she's part penguin or running a water park, it's a little high. Money comes with its own problems, but worrying about your portfolio is always better than worrying about where your next pierogi is coming from.

Just remember that net worth directly correlates with self-worth.

Practice Makes....

Practice makes perfect, but unless you're Martha Stewart, perfection doesn't exist.  The good news is that you can quit dance class and math team, but the bad news is that you're probably never going to be good enough in your mom's eyes, which means you're likely to spend some years binge drinking and turning your back on God.

On the bright side, when you have kids, you get to sit back with some Chard and be the one who disapproves.