In the real world, some things are just useless, like algebra, MBAs
and
underpants. If you have to even think about the "real life application"
of something, don't waste valuable brain space on it, especially when
there are NWA lyrics to memorize and Jim Carrey movies to quote.
Focus on life's essentials - food, shelter and masturbation.
Self-medicating comes in handy when you finally realize doctors will
always let you down, just like your Dad and Pastor Todd. Treating
yourself is both time and cost efficient, because Popov is cheaper than
Zoloft and CVS employees have the brainpower of bacon.
If you're not into chemicals try self-medicating with junk food, cardio
or masturbation.
You are always the one who's going to love yourself the most,
especially after an afternoon of romantic comedies and a long bath.
Others might try to love you, but they might get too busy with an
upcoming work presentation or get annoyed with your anorexia.
If you don't love yourself, there's little you can do besides pay for hookers.
