Daily Fucking Thought

Someone To Talk To

Everyone needs someone to talk to, whether it be a close friend or an open-minded rheumatologist.  Talking through things instantly makes you feel less alone, unless there's a language barrier or you're talking to a poster. 

We're all God's creatures, so no one should be ashamed to reach out - not even the acne prone or the fatsos. 

Body Confidence

Having body confidence is great, as long you're cellulite, saddle bag and thunder thigh free.  Feminists, psychologists and Tyra Banks want you to feel comfortable enough to sport bicycle shorts to the Coffee Bean, but the other patrons would prefer you avoid lycra as they're paying good money for their ice blendeds. 

Not everyone can be a size 2, only God's favorites.

Hating People

It's hard to have time for leisure when there are so many people in the world to hate.  Actively hating people for carrying V.D., for having a hyphenated last name or for misusing adverbs really takes away from watching Project Runway and manscaping. 

Just keep in mind that actively hating people is God's work - it's why he invented hare lips and cellulite. 

Comebacks

Everyone loves a good comeback story because damaged people like to live vicariously through others rather than looking in the mirror.  If your popularity is waning, try gaining or smoking a few kilos and get back on the straight and narrow with old-fashioned blood, sweat and rehab. 

Keep in mind you can only comeback once, or else you're Kirstie Allie. 

Escape Plans

It's important to have an escape plan because you never know when a maniac is going to burst in wielding a gun or your boyfriend is going to change his mind about being with you.  Escape plans include having a false door in the back of your closet and saving up enough rent money so you don't have to spend a month on Linda's futon. 

Escape plans are always smart, even if you live in a low crime zone and date a fatty.