Daily Fucking Thought

Older and Pickier

The older you get, the pickier you get.  You'd rather splurge for a motel than surf on semen stained couches and you'd rather go gay than settle for a boyfriend with outstanding bench warrants or buck teeth. 

Becoming picky is normal because the older you get, the more you learn about yourself.  Namely, that you're a tight ass. 

Classiness

Appearing classy is much more important than being classy; British people freely use the word toilet and "see you in Tahiti" in public but they have charming accents so no one takes back their Nobel Prizes.  Smokescreens are important because being classy is hard, especially with weak impulse control and a deep seeded hatred of tweed.

If you're not British, try faking an accent, wearing Chanel or not speaking in public.

Things You'll Never Know

There are some things you're never going to know, like how to spell yachts and why your husband likes whores. The world is a complicated place, so it's okay not to know everything, especially if you're dyslexic or buzzed.

It's important to stop trying to figure it all out, because stress causes wrinkles and/or cancer.

The Honeymoon

Enjoy the honeymoon while it lasts, because it sure doesn't last forever - or even a year.   No matter how many champagne corks you pop and surprise bouquets you bring home, nothing can keep the honeymoon going because love is just a fairy tale that lonely people tell themselves.

The only way to make the honeymoon last forever is to keep getting remarried.