Once you put your foot in your mouth, no amount of Henry & David
gift baskets or first born sons are going to get you back in good
graces. Accidental insults are worse than intentional insults because
you don't have the forgivable excuses of petty jealousy or of blind
rage.
Only children can get away with putting their foots in their mouths,
because being a dickhead kid is considered cute.
Being politically correct means not saying things that are true,
especially when your office door is open. Since they started letting
liberals into the club, you have to pretend to be an ethnicity-blind,
atheist bi-sexual if you don't want to be frozen out of tee times and
snubbed at the Lobster Boil.
Around your nephews, though, feel free to be politically incorrect
because they'll think it's edgy and awesome.
If you love someone, set him free. If he comes back to spend the night
at your condo, he's yours. If he chooses to make out with Linda in her
Sorento, he's a huge dickhead, especially because he told you Linda's
bad breath and constant dark roots makes him soft.
If you love someone, you're better off trusting a terrorist.
