Daily Fucking Thought

Disorders

It's important to feign a disorder when it's at the height of popularity, like right now it's okay to be a hoarder or a cutter, but being ADHD or having postpartum depression is almost embarrassing.  Better yet, come up with your own disorder - think about developing a deep shame of eating in public or becoming addicted to wigs.

Whatever sets you apart in a unique and pitiful way might land you a reality show special on Discovery Health, which means you'd be famous.

The Joneses

The Joneses seem perfect from the outside because their hedges are always well-manicured and they have perfect pitch during caroling season, but they have secrets just like every other family.  Bob fell victim to identity theft after buying the Asian Persuasion DVD online, meaning he doesn't have the credit line to afford Cathy's injectables addiction anymore.  Michael only made the swim team because he blew the coach and Shelly's still a cutter.

Before you waste all your energy keeping up with the Joneses, remember that it's probably not worth it because everyone sucks in private.