Daily Fucking Thought

Hating People

It's hard to have time for leisure when there are so many people in the world to hate.  Actively hating people for carrying V.D., for having a hyphenated last name or for misusing adverbs really takes away from watching Project Runway and manscaping. 

Just keep in mind that actively hating people is God's work - it's why he invented hare lips and cellulite. 

Pros and Cons

Everything in life has pros and cons, which means no matter what you do, you're never going to be totally happy.  For every wild night in the sack, there's the risk of crabs and for every new friend you make, there's the chance she'll fellate your husband. 

The best thing to do is to make a list of the pros and cons, roll drugs up in it and smoke it. 

Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating is a new concept created to make your fantasies and friendships a betrayal, further cementing the four cell walls of your current relationship.  This means you have to stop trading recipes with SallyGirl89, even though you've never met face to face because she lives in Ottawa and is 17.  Somehow your relationship with her has put a nearly "irreparable wedge" in your marriage.  You also have to stop frequenting Bob's cubicle even though Bob is funny and the only bright spot in the monotony because your wife thinks you have tendencies just because one time in high school you kissed a teammate. 

If you're going to stray, physical cheating is usually a smarter choice than emotional cheating.  You can't catch crabs from emotional cheating, but it rarely leads to orgasm.