Daily Fucking Thought

Your Lot in Life

Just because you were born on Christmas or without Lonnie Anderson good looks doesn't mean you're headed for a life of crime and discount tattoos.  If Orville Redenbacher taught us anything, it's that you don't have to accept your lot in life, especially when you have a passion for corn.

But if you were born a Rockefeller, go ahead and accept your lot in life.  Just keep an eye out for hepatitis, because viruses don't discriminate.

Literally No Room

You cannot be full of sadness and disappointment if you’re full of bacon and cornbread – there’s literally no room.  Your new large, ugly exterior will detract from your ugly interior. Plus, word bullets don’t hurt when you’ve got extra padding. 

Frequent fast food chains and the cravings will follow. Cast out the fruits and vegetables and banish the vitamins and antioxidants. Let the animal fats and bad cholesterol hug your arteries like the mom you never had.