Wedding Vows

If you get married, try to write your own vows so you can leave out the stuff about being poor or becoming crippled because oral contracts are binding.  If you write your own vows you can sneak in something about weekly foot massages and coitus get-togethers with the neighbors. 

Unconditional love is really great when you're getting it, but not so fun when you're giving it, kind of like a loan or an enema.