Daily Fucking Thought

Kids

Most kids are like drunk dinner guests: they stare, speak incoherently and don't know it's impolite to tell the truth.  Kids are dumb enough to be dazzled by baby talk, but smart enough to see through to your very soul, even the autistic ones.

Kids are the enemy you have to keep very close, or else you face the scorn of your excessively fertile co-workers. 

Foot in Your Mouth

Once you put your foot in your mouth, no amount of Henry & David gift baskets or first born sons are going to get you back in good graces.  Accidental insults are worse than intentional insults because you don't have the forgivable excuses of petty jealousy or of blind rage.

Only children can get away with putting their foots in their mouths, because being a dickhead kid is considered cute.