Self-deprecating jokes are a way to be up front about being flawed and
crazy without seeming desperate and scaring people. A man who jokes
about having a teeny ween definitely has a teeny ween (you've never
heard Tom Selleck make a light switch joke) and nine times out of ten, a
woman who jokes about being in love with her cat keeps tuna in her handbag.
Some people think self-deprecating jokes are a sign of confidence, but
those people are assholes.
Major milestones and major tragedies, like marrying your soul mate or
your cat getting cat AIDS, are the best way to get attention without
looking like you're begging for attention. Keep posting new status
updates, fake public crying jags and/or get an in memoriam tattoo and
you can milk the attention for at least a year.
Just try not to hang out with other newlyweds or join a support group as then other people might trump you.
