Daily Fucking Thought

Correct Grammar

When you can't think of something witty to say, correct someone's grammar.   Even if you don't fully understand fractals or cartography, having a strong grasp of the English language makes you sound smart - and smart trumps funny. 

Everyone knows that subject and verb agreement is a real panty dropper.

Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is essentially carte blanche for everything from not making the Math-o-holics to being nicknamed the "Earl of Blow Jobs" to living a life of crime.  Low self-esteem is an ideal excuse, especially if you have a large schnoz or thick thighs, because then it's more believable.

If you're good-looking, you're out of luck unless your parents got divorced or your brother got leukemia. 

Desire

Amish dedicated

A desire doesn’t just become reality.  It takes work, just like making a cardigan without ornamental buttons takes vision and skill.   The challenge is one reason you desire it, more than a good crop year or Baywatch Season One on DVD.  As long as it is not a false idol or anything mechanized, your wants are acceptable. 

Just don’t let your dream of owning a furniture shop on a main thoroughfare or seeing your girlfriend in a bathing suit take away from time at the churn or studying cartography. Fantasize in the middle of the night when your parents are quilting and God is focusing on the Asian time zone.