Daily Fucking Thought

True Colors

Like toe fungus and your faith, your true colors are things you need to hide from other people or you'll be eating lunch and having sex alone.  Easy ways to camouflage your true colors include wearing Anne Taylor Loft, complaining about the economy and watching CBS.

No one needs to know you're adopted or a bigot, especially if you make it a point to stay sober at work.

Successful Job Interviews

A successful job interview means you've sold yourself well and that the armpit Botox worked.  Your actual qualifications mean very little, because in the end, the most qualified person doesn't always get the job.  Sometimes the most qualified person wears too much musk, has adult braces or is ethnic.

Just remember to bring your resume and not to show any boob crack, because people don't like to think about sex while wearing business casual. 

Going to Work

Going into work is like going to a cocktail party in the morning, except without the cocktails and cheese cubes and with more business casual than funky fresh.  Especially on Mondays, after a weekend of 'big plans,' you'll do more catching up before elevenses than in a month of happy hours. 

Your only hope is to close the office door, but if you're in a cube, no half walls will save you.