Daily Fucking Thought

Taking the Edge Off

Sometimes you just need to take the edge off, usually after a long day at work or before driving carpool in the morning.  Taking the edge off ensures you won't spend your day writing angry letters to every government agency with a listed PO Box or blaming strangers for your rosacea.

Diaphragm breathing, eating St. John's Wort or drowning yourself in a shaker full of Beefeaters are all sound ways to take the edge off. 

You've Made It

You know you've made it when someone names a hoagie after you or has sex with you for free, sober.  Other people's interest in you is ultimately the only important thing in life, especially when that interest results in free food or having consensual sex with their face.

If your witty vlog or one act play doesn't help you make it big, settle for making it small and drink more gin.