Daily Fucking Thought

Basic Needs

As humans, we all have the same basic needs for survival: food, shelter, and libation.  Essential nutrition, protection from the elements and a high enough blood alcohol level to make it through the morning commute are musts. 

While cellular service and flush toilets are also vital, they can be done without for a day or two in a pinch.

Being Funny

Being funny is more important than being tall, smart or registered to vote, making it one of the most valuable attributes you can have.  While everyone thinks they're funny, mostly everyone is wrong.

Repeating funny lines from movies does not make you funny, despite what fraternity brothers throughout the country might have you believe.  Talking loudly about drunken escapades, creating nicknames for your friends based on bathroom accidents, and laughing at your own mean spirited jokes also do not make you funny. 

Usually funny comes from being traumatized at some point in your early development, so if that didn't happen, you should probably watch more Jeopardy.