Daily Fucking Thought

Meditation

Meditation is really good for you because something about lying in a room with strangers helps ease your anxiety and boosts your immune system.  Disciplining your mind not to laugh at the chorus of random farts and not letting your mind wander to the reason Bob is staying at the Quality Inn really centers you and prepares you for a day of watching All My Children and weeping. 

If mediation doesn't work for you, try yoga, masturbation or Chardonnay. 

Your Purpose

Having a purpose is more important than having just a job, especially if your purpose is to live in sweatsuits and to give up on hair removal.  Some say the highest purpose is God's will or teaching, but that doesn't mean watching The Dr. Oz Show and masturbating isn't high on the list.

When finding a purpose, try to choose something that doesn't require extra schooling or physical fitness because leisure is more fun.

Gender Roles

Gender roles are clearly defined so you never have to think twice when given the choice between housework and drinking whiskey.  Women handle the housework, use more lotion and have better penmanship, whereas men drink whiskey, drive quickly and are into any televised athletic competition.   

If you're born with both or decide to switch halfway through, you get the best of both worlds, enjoying both UFC and All My Children.

Easy to Feel

It's easy to feel overwhelmed by your circumstances, mainly because no one's life is even close to perfect unless you're really skinny or really pretty.  It's easy to feel like a victim of your circumstances because then you don't have to take any responsibility, even though you're the one who dropped out of beauty college and dated Jeff after you saw his license plate was HOTHEAD.

It's easy to feel like throwing up your hands or your lunch because taking responsibility for your life takes a lot of work, which means less time for daytime TV.