Redeem Yourself

If Mrs. Mangles was right, you probably never lived up to your potential.  Dropping out of community college and never rising above Assistant Manager is no reason to despair -- you can redeem yourself through your children.  Make them do the things you were too lazy or too simple to do and brag to everyone at church about their accomplishments.

If your child resists, just remind him that you were close to that abortion, so he owes you one.